Generally, I assume that any event that requires me to put in serious– or even mild– logistical planning is beyond my ability to attend. The theory goes as thus:

If an event requires traveling in order to attend, and that traveling is beyond the local public transportation system, I would have to actively seek out some sort of method of movement. This requires the proper motivation to do research on buses, flights, car rentals, taxis, or other methods of reaching the event. Here, we are presented with a catch-22:

* I divert my attention from my employment to perform this research. As a result, my performance slips. I receive less compensation from work. I now have the requisite information to get to the event, but lack the fiscal resources.
* I disregard the research, focusing on my employment. As a result, my performance improves. I receive more compensation from work. I now have the fiscal resources to get to the event, but lack the requisite information.

As you can see, in either situation, I am left holding precisely one-half of the magical equation that allows me to enjoy an event on the scale of Lollapalooza. Such a quandary leaves me disappointed and deprived, a shell of my former self.

My contributions to society decrease, dragging down my local economy. Thanks to a ripple effect, neighboring regions begin collapsing as a result of local failures, and soon the country’s economic crisis is worsened. Banks close, the stock market tanks, people clamor for the heads of the wealthy, and soon the country is in perpetual turmoil, all because of my limited supply of motivation.

Do you know what boosts motivation? T-shirts from Threadless.

That was the plan at least…

We were cruising along the I-69 and were getting a bit peckish, so we pulled off in Imlay City, Michigan. We stop at a local McDonalds, eat and get back in the car.

We pull out of the parking lot and get nailed by a car speeding out of the parking lot opposite. Guy didn’t even look to see where the fuck he was going, just went right out into the road and t-boned my passenger side door.

My first though was whether my girlfriend was okay. I’m a little rattled at this point, but I’m basically aware of what just happened and what’s going on. Emily is okay, she had a broken wrist, but nothing life threatening. I get out, to go talk to the guy, but he’s still sitting in his car. I go over, see if he’s okay, and he’s not moving. He’s responive, but he’s not moving. I call 911, and talk to the guy, try to calm him down. At this point, he’s telling me that he can’t move or feel his legs. He says he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. /facepalm.

The ambulance arrives, takes the guy away, and we go to the hospital also, to get my girlfriend’s wrist patched up. I call CAA, and they call AAA and arrange for a tow truck and a mechanic to look at the extent of the damage.

Long story short, car wasn’t drivable and had to be written off, and we didn’t make it to Lollapalooza.

We ended up with 2 useless weekend passes, a write-off car and a broken wrist. A tee-shirt would be a nice addition to that list.

Sincerely,
Graham