Bryan Vaughan - papergardenrecords.com

Being a low-level blogger isn’t easy. I know it might seem like we just sit around and listen to music all day, occasionally sharing our opinions and complaining about Britney’s latest album, but it’s so much more than that. Sometimes we even complain about The Killers’ new album. I know, I know, don’t worry, I’m seeking medical attention as we speak. Alas, this is the life of the blogger who is slightly above the level of your Aunt Martha who managed to turn on her computer and figure out how to set up a blog where she talks about her unfulfilling sex life with your Uncle George (eww), but also far below the level of Pretty Much Amazing. How did I know I outranked your Aunt Martha? Well, it all started the day that the music industry decided to put me in charge (yes, I was surprised too).

Oh how vividly I remember the first email. There it sat in my ever-reliable gmail inbox, smiling back at me as I opened it with the excitement of a young Thom Yorke hearing Frankie Valli’s falsetto for the very first time. The email came from (insert vaguely-music-related name here) Promotion company, informing me that they would like to put me on their extremely exclusive mailing list to receive all of the hippest new music from indie artists that were so far underground that the company couldn’t even list their names without running the risk of them becoming mainstream immediately upon their mention. This was serious shit. Or so I thought.

As the weeks went by, somehow, other promotional and record companies got wind of my apparent unparalleled expertise and also began giving me everything on the down-low (as the kids are saying these days). Having never run a two-bit music blog in the past, receiving emails on a regular basis (besides, of course, the daily check-in from my mother; thanks mom, love ya!) was a new experience to me altogether. Their emails usually went a little something like –

“Hey Jeff! It’s your main man Herbert! Check out the latest EP from ‘Mustaches at the Dining Hall’. I think you’ll agree with ‘Will Do Anything for Traffic’ Music Blog who called this band the love child of Fall Out Boy and Kansas.”
So in the beginning I tried to be nice about it. “Thanks for the heads up Herbert– I’m not sure if Mustaches at the Dining Hall’s sound is really up our alley (cliches always save potentially awkward situations), but we wish them the best of luck!”

Eventually, as my inbox started to overflow, I figured out what made this so frustrating. Here’s the blogger’s secret: These bands, or at least a large majority of them, sucked severely. It wasn’t that they were too cool for me to understand, they just simply blew. Needless to say, I ran out of clichés.

“Hey. Herb. I appreciate your message, though I don’t understand why anyone would think that the love child of Fall Out Boy and Kansas wouldn’t be immediately put up for adoption. But, we wish them the best of luck!”

I cringed every time they mocked me with their catchy headers and offers of free streaming mp3s.
Then, finally, it happened.
I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I stopped reading them altogether.
I deleted the emails immediately.
It seemed so harmless, so easy to just ignore them. So I did, for at least 3 months I completely cut myself off from it all and just wrote about bands that had already made their name in some capacity.

Then, just the other day, I decided that I’d give the old Herbster one more chance. I read his latest email, listened to the promotional tracks, even watched the music video. And when it was all over, I liked the band. A lot. This was extremely disconcerting.

Had I spent the last 3 months deleting the next Muse because they were sandwiched between the next Nickelback and the next Plain White T’s??

I panicked. I opened up my inbox and sat there, staring at the screen, waiting for a new promotional email as anxiously as Axl Rose waiting for someone to give him his dignity back.

About 13 seconds later I remembered why I didn’t have to panic. An email arrived. “Hey Jeff! I think you’ll really love ‘My Kingdergarden Crush” they… blah blah blah ok just give me the goods”. I clicked on the link. I listened. I listened some more. I let it simmer.
Shit.
It sucked. I scoffed. Maybe next time, tis the life.

The Good and the Not So Good Under-Heard Bands That I Accidentally Clicked On Instead Of Deleting (Though I Would Be An IndiePimp If I Blogged About Any Of Them)

Good

Not So Good

This article has been read 82 times since Friday, November 28th, 2008. It was posted on at 1:56 pm by Jeffrey Luppino-Esposito and is filed under Feature, MP3, Music. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.