Naked Miley Cyrus is Satan’s Favorite Pied Piper Slut!

Need more awesome? Listen to our FAVORITE SONGS OF 2014. Make sure you don't miss any tunes: FOLLOW US ON TWITTER.

Naked Miley Cyrus is Satans Favorite Pied Piper Slut! NATIONAL CHRISTIAN FAMILY ACTION ALERT!

From Prophetess Debbie, An Anointed Messenger of the Christ:

The Lord has blessed me with the gift of prophesy. Sometimes this is a wonderful, joyful gift; other times, it makes me weep the tears of the righteous for the woes of the lost.

The Lord Jesus appeared to me this morning while I was bathing and told me something that shocked me:  “Did you know that the teenage vixen Miley Cyrus just this morning led over 100,000 innocent young girls to the groin of Satan?”

When I told Him I would pray for her, my Savior told me that it is too late for her, but that it was NOT too late to save the some of the girls Miley Cyrus is leading to Hell! But we have to act NOW!

Signs Your Precious Teenage Daughter is Becoming a Cyrus Slut:

Naked Miley Cyrus is Satans Favorite Pied Piper Slut! 1. She sings songs about “making it” with old men (worst example: “Life’s What You Make It — So Make It!”)

FACT: 78.7% of all Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana songs are secretly about oral sex, something revealed at “live” (according to Jesus: “lipsynched”) concerts where the 16 year-old singer uses her microphone in a lewd and grossly inappropriate manner.

2. She thinks she becomes totally unrecognizable to you when she puts on a blond wig and can sin up a storm with no repercussions.

FACT: 65.4% of all children who watch Hannah Montana are caught shoplifting within 24 hours because they think no one recognizes them.

Naked Miley Cyrus is Satans Favorite Pied Piper Slut! 3. She develops an “alter-ego” and you catch this “alter-ego” servicing your hubby or other men in the cul-de-sac. When confronted, your daughter denies that it was her.

FACT: 86.04% of girls between the ages of 8 and 13 are liars and see their mothers as competitors for their father’s inappropriate touches.

4. Your shower curtain is missing and you find the rod has been used as a makeshift stripper pole in the basement.

FACT: 74% of all professional strippers started at home entertaining fathers, uncles and neighbors to win candy bars and Abercrombie & Fitch gift cards.

Naked Miley Cyrus is Satans Favorite Pied Piper Slut! 5. When you try to correct or discipline your precious girl, she snaps at you, screaming awful things like “I’m YOUR meal ticket, you [INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE] has-been!”

FACT: 47% of all young girls in America spend at least 1.5 hours a day thinking they are Hannah Montana and that it is therefore A-OK to talk “sassy” to adults.

6. The commode in her little bathroom is constantly getting clogged with used condoms.

FACT: 92.7% of all girls under 18 who buy condoms wind up with AIDS anyway.

If you see ANY of these signs — ANY of them — or your daughter is just acting downright saucy, call a Pastor and 911. There is no time to fool around with “talk” and “time outs.” If you don’t act immediately to get Satan OUT of your house and your daughter’s thoughts and underpants, she will be lost and become a dirty, filthy, nasty, slut like Miley Cyrus. Mothers: Don’t let that happen! Too many girls have been lost to whoredom already!

Naked Miley Cyrus is Satans Favorite Pied Piper Slut!

This was too hilarious to not repost. Props to Randi for sending me to me.

Umm… thoughts?

Cut Copy – So Haunted (Knightlife’s Sun-Soaked Reprise)
The Virgins – Rich Girls (The Twelves Remix)
Franz Ferdinand – Ulysses (Mr Vega Extended Remix)
Kings Of Leon – Knocked Up (Lykke Li vs. Rodeo Remix)
Britney Spears VS Department of Eagles – No One Womanizes Like You (The Hood Internet Mash Up)
Jay Z – 99 Problems (Samantha Ronson Remix)

What did you think?
 6  3  0  3
jessieware-toughlove
Music

The Tough Love single we’ve all been waiting for is here

READ MORE
sharon-van-etten
Remixes

Hear a mesmerizing remix of the Are We There highlight

READ MORE
bilde
Music

Hear a monster of an instrumental from the hip hop/electronic producer

READ MORE
zola jesus
Music

Check out a massive pop anthem from Taiga.

READ MORE
aphex twin syro cover art
Music

Thanks to the UK record store Honest Jon’s.

READ MORE
10608476_733149146722699_4217857187871501654_o
Music

Hear the unlikely collaboration set to appear on the producer’s forthcoming debut LP

READ MORE
julian casablancas and the voids
Reviews

Julian Casablancas sets The Strokes aside to make his best album in a decade.

READ MORE
bey-jay-bang-bang-pt1
News

Please let this rumor be true.

READ MORE
Korallreven-Second-Comin.jpg-575x575
Music

Our first taste from the Swedes’ excellently titled upcoming LP, Second Comin’.

READ MORE