NATIONAL CHRISTIAN FAMILY ACTION ALERT!
From Prophetess Debbie, An Anointed Messenger of the Christ:
The Lord has blessed me with the gift of prophesy. Sometimes this is a wonderful, joyful gift; other times, it makes me weep the tears of the righteous for the woes of the lost.
The Lord Jesus appeared to me this morning while I was bathing and told me something that shocked me:Â “Did you know that the teenage vixen Miley Cyrus just this morning led over 100,000 innocent young girls to the groin of Satan?”
When I told Him I would pray for her, my Savior told me that it is too late for her, but that it was NOT too late to save the some of the girls Miley Cyrus is leading to Hell! But we have to act NOW!
Signs Your Precious Teenage Daughter is Becoming a Cyrus Slut:
1. She sings songs about “making it” with old men (worst example: “Life’s What You Make It — So Make It!”)
FACT: 78.7% of all Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana songs are secretly about oral sex, something revealed at “live” (according to Jesus: “lipsynched”) concerts where the 16 year-old singer uses her microphone in a lewd and grossly inappropriate manner.
2. She thinks she becomes totally unrecognizable to you when she puts on a blond wig and can sin up a storm with no repercussions.
FACT: 65.4% of all children who watch Hannah Montana are caught shoplifting within 24 hours because they think no one recognizes them.
3. She develops an “alter-ego” and you catch this “alter-ego” servicing your hubby or other men in the cul-de-sac. When confronted, your daughter denies that it was her.
FACT: 86.04% of girls between the ages of 8 and 13 are liars and see their mothers as competitors for their father’s inappropriate touches.
4. Your shower curtain is missing and you find the rod has been used as a makeshift stripper pole in the basement.
FACT: 74% of all professional strippers started at home entertaining fathers, uncles and neighbors to win candy bars and Abercrombie & Fitch gift cards.
5. When you try to correct or discipline your precious girl, she snaps at you, screaming awful things like “I’m YOUR meal ticket, you [INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE] has-been!”
FACT: 47% of all young girls in America spend at least 1.5 hours a day thinking they are Hannah Montana and that it is therefore A-OK to talk “sassy” to adults.
6. The commode in her little bathroom is constantly getting clogged with used condoms.
FACT: 92.7% of all girls under 18 who buy condoms wind up with AIDS anyway.
If you see ANY of these signs — ANY of them — or your daughter is just acting downright saucy, call a Pastor and 911. There is no time to fool around with “talk” and “time outs.” If you don’t act immediately to get Satan OUT of your house and your daughter’s thoughts and underpants, she will be lost and become a dirty, filthy, nasty, slut like Miley Cyrus. Mothers: Don’t let that happen! Too many girls have been lost to whoredom already!
This was too hilarious to not repost. Props to Randi for sending me to me.
Umm… thoughts?
Cut Copy – So Haunted (Knightlife’s Sun-Soaked Reprise)
The Virgins – Rich Girls (The Twelves Remix)
Franz Ferdinand – Ulysses (Mr Vega Extended Remix)
Kings Of Leon – Knocked Up (Lykke Li vs. Rodeo Remix)
Britney Spears VS Department of Eagles – No One Womanizes Like You (The Hood Internet Mash Up)
Jay Z – 99 Problems (Samantha Ronson Remix)
![latest pmaCAST](http://i46.tinypic.com/1zeh9v9.jpg")
I love your picture! Make one with you all naked
Por Dios… deja de hablar idioteses!!…
no sabes nada vos… JEHOVA TE REPRENDA!!
youre ill people
And with ill i dont meat mily
it is satans trap to get all of her friends to go to ‘you know what’
even her songs played backwards have a satanic message behind it. shes probably controlled over by satan.
show your boobs and your vergina next time
omg you people are freaks. get your brown hypocritical noses out of other people’s business, and start cleaning up your own messes, and focusing on your own issues.
Hold on to your Bibles, folks! You are about to be raptured into the gut-busting, demon-stomping insanity of God’s Favorite Church, Landover Baptist – the web’s ultimate religious spoof. In the sacred and honorable tradition of The Onion comes a hilarious collection of outrageous news, graphics and games that gleefully skewers America’s very own Taliban, the evangelical right. Pastor Deacon Fred, Mrs. Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian(tm), Pastor Harry Hardwick and the rest of the pew-jumping, finger-pointing crazies at Landover Baptist Church (Guaranteeing Salvation Since 1620!) provide a sharply written book full of uproarious words and images. With its shocking exposes, X-rated bible quizzes, scandalous sidebars and mug shots of America’s damned, “Welcome to Jesusland!” is sure to become a classic of religious and political humor, taking its rightful place next to the Holy Bible as essential reading in all of America’s hotel nightstands.
What fun!
Amen!
bwhaha. a good end to a stressful day
Click the link at the top of the post. It will take you to eiter the most hilarious or most infuriating site ever. Haven’t decided yet.
YES YES YES FINALLY!!!
OMFG! I WANT THAT KINGS OF LEON REMIX!!
is this for real?? where did you get it
LMAO! THAT just made my day!