Welcome to PMA’s American Idol Recap (AIR). This is a new segment that’s admittedly directed to American Idol fans (although, everyone is welcome). Basically, it’s my play-by-play and opinions of the music, contestants, and all things American Idol. I know we should’ve started this last week when there were 13 contestants, but since I didn’t think of it until halfway through that show, we’ll start here tonight.

And here… we… go!

Here comes Dr. Seacrest to tell us how crazy the odds of being amazing are. All of the contestants are lined up, and we’re panning past them (Wow… that’s a fancy white jacket for Danny) Seacrest continues to tell us how high the stakes are, that this is intense, blah blah blah. Cue opening idolage and creepy new announcer (anyone else wonder why they recruited that guy? I liked it better back when Seacrest just broke things down by his little self). He turns to the judges and begins to ask worthless questions to which we get worthless replies. Ryan tells us something about the summer tour, and introduces the top 11.

It’s country week at Idol, which to me is a little boring. I mean, country music is fine, but I don’t think American Idol actually cares for it at all. It always seems that AI talks down to country music, and considers it the lesser known, poorer looking little brother to pop. I kind of feel like they’re just pandering to the country crowd. Well, whatevs, it’s Country week, and Randy Travis is here to show us them country ropes. He tells us that this is the strongest group he’s seen in years, (although, I seriously doubt that Randy T. would be able to tell Clay Aiken from Sanjaya if his little country life depended on it).

Michael Sarver steps up and starts dragging us through the melody of “Ain’t Goin’ Down ‘til the Sun Comes Up.” There’s some dude sitting on the steps playing a harmonica. He’s more than distracting and as Michael sings he looks to be having an epileptic fit. Michael’s sidles up and awkwardly jams with him for a minute, which makes me sad. I’ve liked Michael in the past, however, despite his nailing of the words, it feels too draggy and uninspired. It’s just okay, which is sad since country is clearly Sarver’s music. The judges weigh in, and they seem to feel the same as I do. Fun, but overall it’s just “meh.” Michael tries to hedge his okay-ness by saying that country music is meant to be “fuuuuun,” and that he had it. Blah, blah. I hate to tell these contestants, but at this point, we don’t care if you have fun. We just want you to be good. He ends with “if we were all perfect, we wouldn’t be on this show,” which makes no sense whatsoever.

Allison Iraheta is up next, and she struts in to meet Randy T. There is A LOT of red going on with this girl. Red hair, red jacket, red lips. She’s 16 and she’s wearing red. Randy warns her not to be too cute, which is the kind of thing a parent would say to an obnoxious child. Here’s the actual performance… and she’s wearing (shocker) red pleather. She’s singing well, although a tad boring. I don’t particularly love the song choice (Blame it On Your Heart), so maybe it’s just my problem. I don’t think this really shows off Allison’s raging rock voice very well. But let’s see what the four horsemen think. Kara likes it. Paula likes it (I think…). Simon thinks it was good, or tuneless, or word forgetty, or precocious… which he says is good (don’t have a clue what he was talking about). Randy thinks it was dope (which is also the last time you will ever hear a country song referred to as dope). They liked it more than I did.

With that, here is Kris Allen. My wife thinks Kris is the dreamiest member of the XY side this year… and from the look of the eyebrow raise Randy T. just handed out, he agrees with her. For this week’s performance, Kris loses the guitar, gets a chair & black shirt, and sings sweet nothings (“To Make You Feel My Love”) into American Idol hearts everywhere. He sounds pleasant and controlled. It’s nice. Paula is surprised. She goes on and on inanely about pitch, but ultimately likes it. Simon thought it was terrific (despite the fact that she just said he had major pitch issues, Paula is now nodding her head and agreeing with Simon’s praise, which makes me think that her short term memory is a thing of the past). Randy talks about “Tender moments from my dog Kris” (which sounds like a reality series premiering on TLC), and Kara says that it didn’t sound like country, so it was great (see what I mean… country gets a raw deal here at AI).

Lil Rounds is now sitting with Ryan. Which can only mean one thing… Time filler. We hear about the AI pool, the hot tub, and how much time the idols spend together. Now, on to Randy T. and Lil practicing “Independence Day.” Randy T. says she’s got pipes. We will see. Lil’s up on stage and like Michael, she seems like she’s dragging the melody. The vocals are decent, but it feels like she’s wasting a lot of good singing time with the low, slow intro. For a girl with a voice like she has, I may have picked a song that didn’t take 3 minutes to warm up. By the time she does get to show off her “pipes,” surprisingly, she has pitch issues and continues to drag the song. She’s not doing particularly horrible, but it’s not that good either… it’s just kind of… decent. Randy thought what I thought… the slow beginning part didn’t feel comfortable. Lil responds and says that she wanted to show that she could sing more than just R&B (unfortunately Lil, you have to sing something besides R&B well, for us to believe that you can sing it). Kara also thinks that the beginning was boring. Despite the long intro, Paula thinks it’s all great. Simon belittles everyone, insults Lil, the crowd boos, the judges grumble to each other, Lil makes more excuses, Simon blathers some more, and finally we’re all saved by Ryan and the AI music.

We’re through with 4 contestants… can you handle more?

Here’s Adam Lambert, who (full disclosure) makes me wanna punch myself in the face. He’s a fantastic singer, but I never know what I’m going to get with him. We cut to Randy T.’s mentoring session where we learn that R. Travis hates two things: Adam’s nail polish, and the version of “Ring of Fire” that Adam will be singing. Cut back to AI stage, and here’s Adam. Yuck man. The judges will probably drool all over themselves and rain handclaps down for this performance, but Lambert creeps me out. I can’t get over his Mad Max outfit, and the brutally erotic faces he makes as he’s singing. This song is particularly gross despite his great voice. Country music fans ears are bleeding as Adam just ruined country week’s Christmas. Kara doesn’t know what to make of it. Paula wants to make out with Adam and a bottle of Oxycontin at the same time. Simon says what everyone but Paula is thinking (“What the hell was that?,” and “Indulgent rubbish,” and “horrific”). Randy says, “young, fresh, hot,” and we cut away after a shot of Adam looking like a giant wearing shoulder pads next to Seacrest.

Scott MacIntyre is cooking, but Randy T. does not like what he’s serving. Scott is using his piano, and as usual, the piano playing is better than the person singing. I like Scott. I like his story. I like that he’s showing that a blind guy can make things happen… still it doesn’t change the fact that he’s good, not great and that he doesn’t have a chance to win. I think people have a hard time separating the blind, from the talent, and the judges give him decent reviews so they don’t look like the tool. He sings, “Wild Angels,” and it’s pretty good. Paula loves him, and calls his song lovely (which is like having a girl you love introduce you as their “friend”). Simon says he needs to work on music choice. Randy wants hot, crazy vocals. Kara wants him to step it up. You take the average of this criticism, and you get “you’re done, son.” He’s a nice guy, and a very good musician, but I don’t think his talent recommends him for the top 13, and it’s starting to show.

Alexis Grace and her short, pink, spunky hair is here! She’s been stellar this season, and I think the judges were somewhat unfair to her last week. This is her big chance at redemption. Randy T-rav loves her version of “Jolene.” Usually it blows my mind that this kind of voice can come out of a waifish little blonde girl, but this week she’s singing a little under her potential. Oddly enough, she kind of looks like Dolly (minus 7 cup sizes, and 103 years), which is a little trippy. Nobody likes this one, but Paula. Alexis said she had fun, which- who cares.

Is it me, or do the contestants really seem like they’re trying to sell it more this year? Don’t know if I admire their persistence, or am annoyed by their pandering.

Danny’s here and he keeps messing up over and over in front of Randy T., who does not seem impressed. Randy T. thinks if he can get it, he’ll do great (which I think he’s said 4 other times now). And there Danny is live on stage in his popped collar snow camo jacket (are we still popping collars?). He’s singing “Jesus Take the Wheel.” Like Lil, it’s slow to get going, but he can really blow when he needs to (and he does about half way through). Danny is really good. I can see him doing well in this competition. Kara agrees with me, and was bored with the front half. Paula (who loses all context because she loves everything) loves everything about the performance. Simon <3’s it as well (although he comments on the lameness of the jacket), and Randy agrees with Kara.

Anoop Desai says country is not his gig. I don’t think anyone really knows what Anoop’s gig is, but it ain’t country. Anoop (singing “Always On My Mind”) actually starts out doing a really nice job, which is surprising after last week’s horrific performance. He’s gotten a shearing, which he needed desperately, and looks comfortable. Yeah, this is good… one of the best tonight, I’d say. Paula… well, you know. Simon thought it was one of the best performances of the night (great minds). Randy calls him Anoop dog, which is still as lame as the first time he said it, Kara reiterates Simon’s sentiments, and Anoop loves himself.

Megan Joy and her massive tattoo are ready for action (I can’t do anything when this girl sings but wonder why she’s shimmying around like that and try to figure out what she has tattooed all over her little self). She’s singing “I Go Walking After Midnight.” Randy T. seems skeptical, but ends up crushing. Megan Joy and her tattoo are singing now, and it sounds fresh and unique. She looks great, sounds great, and… wait… there’s that weird shimmy dance she does. I can’t concentrate on anything when she does that. To the judges! Randy: “Perfect choice.” Kara: “Perfect song.” Paula: “Megan = fighter.” Simon: “Flu every week.” They love her!

Matt Giraud’s back at the piano and singing a Carrie Underwood song that I’ve never heard (“So Small”). I’m starting to think that Randy T. doesn’t like anyone’s song choice… although everything he says sounds strangely familiar. Did the idol people just record the same Randy T. package and play it over and over? Maybe… anyway, Matt’s on stage and playing the piano. He seems so natural behind the keys too. Dueling piano player may not look good on a business card, but it looks great on that AI stage. His look seems to be playing up the JT compliment that he got last week, although with less awesomeness. I just wanna say one more time, he’s great on the piano. Seriously. His voice ain’t bad either. Me thinks that Matt’s gonna be a force in this competition. Kara loved the song and his heart that poured onto the piano. Paula can’t say “authenticity,” but wants to really, really bad. Simon thinks Matt outsung Danny and reminds him of Michael Buble. Randy says it’s the best performance of the night. Very positive.

With that, Ryan comes out, recaps the voting, and tells us that no one is safe. Boom goes the dynamite- that’s the show!

My final recap?

Worst boy: Michael. Worst girl: Lil.

Best boy: Tie. Anoop and Matt G. Best XX: Megan Joy and her tattoo.

Grossest contestant: Adam by a landslide. Weirdest Jacket: Danny.

Going home: Michael.

Hope you all enjoyed the AIR. Let us know what you thought of the show, the recap, who you think should hit the bricks, or whatever else is on your mind in the comment section.

This article has been read 939 times since Wednesday, March 18th, 2009. It was posted on at 1:39 am by Jeff Lind and is filed under Live Performances, Music, TV Shows, Videos. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.