Ladies and gentlemen, we live in marvelous times. Starting in October, the American people banded together, they let their voices be heard, and they spoke loud and clear – “we know what we want, and it is like nothing we’ve had before”. No, I’m not talking about Barack O’drama. I’m talking about Snuggies, the blankets with sleeves that make you look like a monk. Or as I like to call them, Slankets. Has a much dirtier ring to it, doesn’t it?

If you’re not already sitting down, you should. Also, if you’re not already sitting down, you’re a weirdo. Who reads blogs standing up? Regardless of your position in the sitting/standing hierarchy, I am about to blow your mind. The American people have spent over $40,000,000 on Slankets this year. 40 million dollars. And if you think that figure – which represents over 4.5 million Slankets sold – isn’t related to advertising, well my friend you are wrong. If I hadn’t seen the Slanket eloquently advertised as a way to “enjoy a snack while staying snuggly warm” (YouTube, 2009, :26) there’s no way I would have bought 10 of them before realizing that – PEOPLE – Slankets are just sweatshirts!

Anyhow, I digress. Continue reading →