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We open with a typical montage of the week where we see the high and low lights of last night’s show. They recycle Kara acting like a complete twit, and build up way too much, and… THIS… is American Idol.
Hello Ryan. Seems like you’re wearing the same suit, yet again. He’s really classed it up this year. It’s all suits and skinny ties for Ryan. He tells us that there were 64 million votes and we welcome the top 4 (who are sitting on the near side of the stage). We meet the judges, and get more intimately acquainted with Paula’s chest. Ryan tells us that Paula is going to perform tonight (which… last time she did that, it really, really sucked).
Here’s the Ford music video, and not only is the video lame this week, but the sound on the song is not recorded very well. I’ve got nothing else for you on that.
Here’s the group number (“School’s Out”) with Slash on lead guitar. This song sounds horrific. Nobody sounds good… what is the deal with the sound tonight? Not only do they sound terrible when they’re singing together, but they also sound terrible on their solos. Slash completely nails his though, and it turns out to be the only good thing about this song. I could do with four fewer singers and four more guitarists named Slash. It finally ends, we talk to Slash, and we find out why he’s doing this whole American Idol sell out: he has a solo album. Yay.
We chatter with the judges, wasting time until Paula secures her bosoms and is ready to perform. Here she is, and she’s wriggling around at the top of the stairs. She’s singing an “original” ditty, called “I’m Just Here for the Music” or something like that. The music starts, and she’s CLEARLY not singing, even though we can’t see her mouth yet. This is not good… like, at all. Oh, goodness… she has a fake microphone and she’s pretending to sing into it… heaven help us all. We get a close up of a newspaper that has a lame photo of Paula and Simon’s faces, it gets torn in half, and we see Paula crawling towards us on stage. Yikes… what else do I say about this? Fireworks, slithering, grossness, etc. It’s over, she says the name of the song in a really, “Hey guys! I’m just here for the music!” way, and we’re thankfully done.
We’re back and Ryan welcomes Gwen Stefani to the stage. She then begins to try and revive “I’m Just a Girl.” It’s a huge mess, and we’re reminded that No Doubt is more dead than ever (and, for the record, I used to like these guys). Why are we they here? Do they need money? Gwen is busting all over the stage, acting kind of maniacal… doing push ups, screeching at the crowd, and repeating herself over and over. It’s a really, really long performance. It ends, we hear about their tour, how they have no new material, and about Gwen’s baby maker. Great.
[At this point, my Tivo somehow craps out… maybe I hit a button and stopped recording, maybe my prioritizer is jacked, I dunno…. Either way, I just checked results elsewhere and I’m gonna report them as if I'm watching (only slightly less detailed... and without a Daughtry performance).]
Kris with a K: SAFE! Of course. I don’t think anyone doubted this.
Daughtry performs “No Surprise” from their upcoming album Leave This Town. I’m not the biggest Daughtry fan, but he sings generic rock as well as anyone else, and there’s a market for it, so bring it on. He probably sounded just like he always does, and McDonalds has made a quadtrazillion dollars on giving people mediocre consistency, so why can’t Daughtry?
Adam: Safe. Probably the biggest no brainer of the night. Surely no one thought he’d get any closer to going home than he did last week, ever again.
Danny: Safe. He joins Adam and Kwak on the couch, and they share a massive man hug.
Allison: Gonzo. She has a very good voice, but she only has one speed right now. Once this girl gets some maturity (in her voice, and attitude) she’ll be amazing, but I personally think she has some depth to explore and gain.
So that’s it this week. I’ll recheck my prioritizer and make sure that the only thing above American Idol is LOST. We’ll be back next week with the final 3. This is when it truly gets crazy… These are 3 very good, and very different voices. I think popularity may end up screwing Adam in the end… he’s a pretty polarizing character.
Interesting…
Tags: American Idol
We liked the Daughtry performance. Easily the best of the night (that’s not saying much). Danny somehow made it through, but it’s only a matter of time (6 days) until he bites the dust.
Paula’s song was horrific! It’s probably an outtake from Forever Your Girl… Just hideous. This season is different than others in that the top 4 are all great (different) singers. I think a larger percentage of people are voting based on performances, rather than for a specific singer more than other years. My prediction for next week – Adam is voted off. Imagine the faces of the judges if this happens. I admit that I am not an Adam admirer, he wears the most makeup of anyone on the show (that’s saying something with Paula on the show).
One more thing, I hate the judges picking the songs show. It’s obvious to me who the judges want to win by the songs they pick for the contestants. They did it to Melinda Doolittle a few years ago with the old Tina Turner song & gave the other contestants newer songs that most people knew.
Whoa. My first conspiracy theory… I’ll have to celebrate.
I am so happy Allison left-I’m a super genius apparently and so called that. I think it’s painfully obvious that Adam, regardless of winning, will have a HUGE career. He is unique and has an incredible voice, but it may be his uniqueness that does him in…I love him but I can see how many Idol fans will vote for Kwak or sad Danny Gokey. At this point, as long as it isn’t Kwak that wins, it’s all good.
AND No Doubt is awesome-granted not their best performance, but it was pre-recorded so I feel like the energy was really weird. I think it’s awesome that they are going on tour first before making an album because nothing is worse than a band that only plays new material after they’ve been gone for awhile…it may be good but it isn’t what you’re familiar with, in my opinion.
Can we PUH-LEASE talk about the No Doubt guy wearing black and white striped tights and a purple TUTU!!?!?!?!?!
Did you read about Paula’s confession to Rx pain killers addiction? Story released the same week as her performance on AI. Coincidence? I think not.
I just.
You guys.
I mean.
I love Paula’s breastssssssssssssssssssssss! hahaha
I was so happy to see that KWAK made it past elimination. I watched the show on my Tivo past voting time, so I wasn’t able to vote for him and was going to be very upset if he got sent home. I realize my measly 20 or so votes aren’t going to make or break anybody…but they can’t hurt.
I was fine with Allison leaving…it was her time to go. Next week I hope it’s Danny gone which leaves KWAK and Adam in the finals. From there I don’t care who wins. I love them both!