Make sure to download the newest episode of the pmaCAST: Looking Better, Shining Brighter Than You Do, featuring Four Tet, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The xx, Yeasayer, Department of Eagles, Hot Chip and more.
Alright Idol peeps. It’s time to jettison another contestant. From last night’s comments, the PMA consensus seems to think Megan is gonna be our sacrificial lamb, which I’m okay with. A few weeks ago, I woulda been bangin’ the drum for Scott to be on the outs, but Megan has just been too inconsistent and too snotty for me to care about anymore. At any rate, here we go.
We’re opening with a judge/contestant highlight reel. We see shots of the contestants performing overlaid with old judge commentary. It’s a nice change.
Super Seacrest shows and he’s stylishly sporting a snappy suit (alliteration… I does it). Ryan tells us that 36 million votes came in last night, and then tells us that Lady GaGa is going to perform (sweet!), then he does his usual time wasting banter with the judges (I’ve gotta point out Paula’s get-up again. She’s basically wearing a purple bra with sparkly straps. She’s also wearing clown make-up), and then introduces the Ford music video (Hey Ford, why don’t we take the money we’re spending on lame commercials at American Idol and save the auto industry with it? Nevermind… we, the taxpayers, will take care of it).
The top 9 is now ready to lip-sync Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin.” Why American Idol? Why do you have to ruin this for me. I’m a simple man, with simple pleasures. I like hot chocolate on snowy afternoons, I like to play with puppies, and I (like every other red blooded American) LOVE THIS SONG. Why are you doing this to us? Some things are sacred, and you just took one of those things from us. You dirtbags took Journey! It’s over produced, Scott isn’t even close to his microphone, and I’m sad.
Ryan starts talking about all the work they put in, and we see a montage of the nuttiness that is American Idol contestanting. We see photo shoots, red carpets, Kris’ “sexy faces,” Ford photo shoots, and pillow fights. They say it’s “CRAZY,” which if you can do it with your grandma in the room, it ain’t crazy.
Okay, here are the results.
Megan and Matt and Kris with a K are stood up together. They are sent to the far side of the stage (which I will now and forever call the Dark Side of the Moon).
Adam, Lil, and Allison are stood up together. They are sent to the center of the stage (by the by, Adam is wearing fingerless leather gloves and a lightning bolt around his neck. Just thought I’d point that out).
Scott, Danny, and Anoop are stood up together and sent to the near side of the stage.
Ryan implies that one of these three groups are the bottom 3. I don’t believe that though. I think that sneaky Seacrest is going to pull the gypsy switch on us and mix the groups up. We’ll see.
Before we find out, we get to hear David Cook singing a DC original. Never liked David Cook much. I thought that Archuletta character should’ve won, but whatevs. Here he is, and he’s doing a fine job. He’s got a string section, a white guitar, and a goatee that are all ready to rock. This song is slow to develop… oh wait… it’s developed. It’s just kind of a boring song. You’d think that the reigning American Idol would take this shot to play something super catchy, and super amped up. It’s neither of these things. He plays the guitar about as much as Allison did last night, and this song seems to only have about 2 lines in it. “I hope you find everything you need, and I’ll be here waiting… blah blah blah. Insert cheesy Puddle-of-Creed lyric here. Good job David. You’ve got a good voice, but you’re using it to sing a mediocre song. Hooray! Two blond girls come out and give David his platinum record, he cries, and we go to break.
We’re back to the chopping block, and Ryan is teasing us again, waving results around in his hot little hand. He walks over to the Dark Side of the Moon and addresses the contestants.
Kris with a K: Safesville.
Matt: FAKE OUT FROM SEACREST!!! Safe. That Seacrest… he’s like a little garden gnome out playing tricks on the American Idol townspeople.
Megan: Ryan asks what she thinks of what Simon said last night and she says, “I love you Simon, but I don’t care.” Nice Megan. Way to sell your desire to stay. BOTTOM 3. She starts walking to the Dark Side of the Moon, and in the process (I am not making this up) starts cawing and flapping her arms like wings (I would kill to see Seacrest tackle her, pin her arms down with his knees, and start slapping her in the face). Can’t you pretend to care? Please go away forever Megan.
Lil: Safe. Good. I think she’s better than we’ve seen so far.
Allison: Bottom 3. She sorta flaps her hands (mimicking Megan) and heads to sit next to Megan.
Adam: Safe. He, his eye liner, and his lightning bolt take a seat.
Gokey: Safe.
Anoop and Scott are the last men standing. Randy thinks it’s Anoop who will get the axe (and we’re not talking sweet guitars here, are we Paula).
Scott: Safe!
Anoop: Bottom 3.
I’m gonna take a moment to say that although this group seemed like it had loads of talent at the beginning of the season, they aren’t really shaping up… is that just me?
We’re back from the break, and it’s Lady GaGa singing “Poker Face.” She starts behind a glass piano (awesome), but we all know she’s gonna ditch that soon. She’s wearing some gigantic silver Christmas bow on her shoulder, a dress that looks like it’s been through a shredder, and a black zipper thingy on her eye (that may be a little much). Lady GaGa is an interesting beast. She’s a trained songwriter and musician, so you know she knows the method of the songs, but she’s also got a touch of crazy that is pretty cool too. Despite the distractions of the bizzaro clothes, I like that she’ll wear nutty stuff, dance like a maniac, and totally be berserk in front of the whole world. It’s a fun performance… technically, kinda weak, but fun nonetheless.
We’re back to our bottom 3 and Ryan asks if any are worth saving. “Just one” says Simon, and I’m thinkin’ that he’s thinkin’ Allison. Anoop looks like he’s gonna vomit, Megan looks like she’s pretending she doesn’t care, and Allison is looking like a 16 year old.
Allison: Safe, and back to the contestant’s safe zone.
Anoop: IN.
Megan: OUT. Halla-freakin’-lujah. Ryan asks Simon if they’ll save her and he says “you said you don’t care, nor do we.” Wow. She wouldn’t have been saved anyway, but this is an awesome chance for Simon to really insult someone. Most people, I’d feel sorta bad for, but Megan has been full of attitude since week 2, and I’m over her.
Megan sings, and wriggles around, sounding and looking like a muppet. Good riddance Megan… you started out cool, but got lame. Sad, but true.
Well, we’re down to 8! Let us know what you thought of tonight’s show in the comments. As we get rid of this dead weight, things could really get interesting.
Quick Question: I wanna get a read on what you guys think of this. I’m thinking about staging a live twitter session of A.I. in an upcoming episode. I think your comments are pretty funny, and I’d love to hear them while watching. It wouldn’t be a regular thing, but it could be fun once or twice if there are lots of people online and tweeting collectively. What do you guys think? Worth experimenting?
Either way, come back here next Wednesday for more good times!
While he’s not writing reviews for us, Jeff Lind covers American Idol for Pretty Much Amazing. Do yourself a favor and follow Jeff Lind on Twitter!
Tags: American Idol
So, my girlfriend thought that Megan was really hot, so that made me think Megan was really hot too. I was rooting for her for that sole reason… to see my lady get worked up over her. Agreed though, she was getting annoying. The stage was too big for her; she belongs in a soky jazz club with people sipping hard liquor drinks and bobbing their heads. I think she has a great voice, it was just the wrong venue for her. Whoever her coach was totally f’ed her up. They tried to tell her to keep her “cool” jazzy side, but tried to give her the stage presence of a Mandy Moore. Didn’t work.
John, I’m totally with you. She was one of my favorites early on, but between her crappy attitude, and her crappy vocals, her welcome wore thin. Even her unique look and her craz-o shimmy couldn’t save her. Megan and her tattoo had to go.
Also… everyone, sorry about the spacing in this recap. I messed something up, thought I fixed it, but it still looks jacked. Next week we’ll be back to normal spacing.
I think it should be clarified that while I am TOTALLY glad Megan is gonzo – everyone (including Simon) misinterpreted what she said.
Ryan asked what she thought of what SIMON SAID LAST NIGHT – and she replied “I love you Simon but I don’t care (ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT)”. I may be postulating – but I think this is important because I don’t think she meant “I don’t care about the competition”.
As a side note – I went out last night and saw a guy wearing the same eye-zipper Lady Gaga had on. I was too distracted by it though so I stopped looking.
I love that Evan saw a man wearing an eye zipper! Where do you live Evan?
Also to Evan I think we all know Megan was referring to Simon’s comments last night, but even still by saying you don’t care what Simon’s opinion is that’s basically saying you don’t care about the competition because whether we like it or not the judges opinion (especially Simon’s) has a huge impact on the way America votes. Good riddance Megan and your tattoo.
Okay I’m pretty sure this is the funniest thing I’ve hear you (Jeff) write so far: “That Seacrest… he’s like a little garden gnome out playing tricks on the American Idol townspeople.”
I can’t stop laughing!
NEW YAWK CITAY
Here’s something interesting–I’m in Cali and a friend of mine got tickets to one of last week’s ‘dress rehearsals’. She said it was several hours of watching these contestants practicing for the big night. But the crazy thing was her take on Megan–said she just couldn’t get anything. The directors had to keep starting over b/c her eyes weren’t on the camera at the right time. Over and over. She said even Scott could get it, but Megan … nope. She wondered if there is a little drug damage. Either that or she’s not too bright. The bird flapping and cawing last night led me to wonder about the former.
Anyway, I just think she never got any better. Or different. No growth outta that girl and no stepping up her game. It was like she couldn’t incorporate any of the constructive criticism.
You seemed EXTRA funny in this post, Jeffrey. I likes it! I esp. liked the comment to Ford and it’s money. Good one.
Peace out Megan — you BUGGED!
Megan kind of had the reverse effect on me. I hated her at first, but she slowly started to win me over at “CAW! CAW!” She’s obviously batshit insane, and that’s what I like about her.
In regards to Twitter: that needs to happen. I live tweet Idol anyway (inadvertently, I’ll just have my computer open and if anyone does something stupid or lame I’ll comment) so making it a big PMA thing sounds excellent.
Actually, Come Back to Me is not a David Cook original. That and Light On are the only songs on his album he didn’t write or co-write. Not the best song on his album but I enjoyed it!
Where do you think you pick up an eye zipper? Maybe I’ll start wearing one while I recap!
@Emilyl: great comment. I would love to see the contestants with the cameras off. I’ve heard that things get much more catty when America isn’t watching.
@Laura: Nice correction. As you can see, my David Cook knowledge is weak at best.
Yeah, Carrie. That caw was crazy insane. I read some quotes from her today saying that she “wanted to go out with a bang.” She has issues.
Her voice was interesting in a “Shakira-and-Gwen-Stefani’s-lovechild” kinda way, but man, her rhythm and motor skills were TERRIBLE. Watching her try to bop and sing “Rocking Robin” and all her other stupid song choices was crazy awkward.
I’m going to miss her terribly.