Bonnaroo 2013: Schedule

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The promise of the music festival always seems to be something along the lines of "everything and more," all in one place. Bonnaroo were one of the first to popularize these ultimate cocktails of escapism, but there's still one lingering taste of reality that festival organizers have yet to circumvent. Time! Like Hermione's third year schedule at Hogwarts, there's simply no way a human being can take it all in without supernatural aid.

Oh you like ZZ Top and Wu Tang Clan? Too fucking bad, pick one. Big K.R.I.T. and Grizzly Bear? Cry me a river. Pretty Lights and Animal Collective? Well you can catch the end of AnCo's set—if you hustle. Upset about the Beach House and Dwight Yokam conflict? Well then you have a more interesting taste in music than me. David Byrne & St. Vincent, Divine Fits and A$AP Rocky? I can already see myself desperately going to grab a beer to calm the anxiety that will surely result from this consumer's indecision.

Pick out your favorite conflicts on the schedule here, and if you're an enterprising mash-up producer, please consider making a Conflicts of Bonaroo 2013 mixtape for all of us who just can't pick between Portugal. The Man and Death Grips.

Bonnaroo 2013 will go down on June 13-16 in Manchester, Tennessee