The Black Album by Weezer

This is the most disjointed record in Weezer’s discography.
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So, I mean, this album isn’t dark. Like at all. There is a histrionic song about cake. And it starts with “doo doo doo doo’s”. It has almost the exact same riff as “Beautiful” by Moby, a song I almost guarantee you have never heard. The song is called “Piece of Cake” and it’s about a specific woman’s ability to break Rivers’ heart and drugs inability to change that. It’s also about the popular soft drink Sprite, or something. Its many things, but it isn’t dark.

There is also an electropop song about living in one of the most expensive cities in America. It’s called “Living in LA” and it was released as an advance single. It sounds like a Tesla wrote it. It’s a misfire, it’s a well-produced mess, but its not dark. Isn’t that the whole point of the record? The White record was supposed to be poppy and this was supposed to be the bad ass Prince funky record?

There is also a song called “I’m Just Being Honest.” It sounds like if Dashboard Confessional wrote a poem and the Fray set it to music with help from Keane. There are more “doo doo doo doo’s” (the Prince Who Wanted Everything). There is the greatest pop rock song for serious fans of the Walking Dead (Zombie Bastards). There is also a song that sounds like Of Montreal wrote it in an attempt to get a Portugal the Man crossover hit (Byzantine).

There is also a song called “High As a Kite” and it is incredible. Casual piano tinkering makes way for a perfect pop verse. The strolling instrumentation paired with a classic chord progression makes way for a huge Weezer chorus. The lyrics are sad but with a pinch of irony where previous records have added a gallon. There is a video of the song where they are kind of Mr. Rogers and the audience dislikes their attitudes and set destruction. The chorus soars effortlessly like Pork and Beans but without the studio effort. I can’t stress enough how satisfactory this song will be to classic Weezer fans.

There is also a song called “California Snow” and it is a midlife crisis in three and a half minutes. It will be HARD for Rivers to claim he isn’t rapping in it. The production is painfully top 40. Just casually saying “Worst song in Weezer’s discography” is saying A LOT considering they did a track with Lil Wayne that I actually don’t necessarily hate. I could explain why its so awful but please, take a listen, enjoy.

This is the most disjointed record in Weezer’s discography. Its probably not the worst but its right there with Raditude and Make Believe.

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